Cleaning

Is my guilty pleasure. I clean when I feel out of control. It's kinda addicting actually. I clean my Mac, my desk, my floor, my bed, do my laundry, fold my clothes, arrange my closet by clothes type. All when I feel out of control.

I want to enjoy life. I want to live life to the fullest. No more moping around and looking back.

New Year

College is gonna be different this year. It's already different. I miss freshman year.

Here again

I'm tired and speechless.

It's been a while

Since I last updated. Was reading through my diary of sorts, and saw that my life was just running around in circles for the past 4 years or so. I would recognize things that are hindering me, cry about it, and allow it to continue hindering me. When will I bounce past these obstacles?

I think that a life lived empty of all else but God is a life worth living. A life that is about what God wants for this world and it's inhabitants. Sometimes I'm afraid of asking for that life, not because I don't want it, but because I'm afraid of not being able to handle it, or missing out on some of the "finer" points of life. But as I continually fill my life with all it's pleasures, I find that it's less and less filling and it's taking more away from me than I am from it.

Am I growing? Am I being shaped? I don't want to be a self-righteous prick that just judges other people and put myself on a pedestal. Nor do I want to wallow in my self-pity anymore. In the end, I just want to want nothing. Because how can you lose anything when you got nothing to lose?

I need to stop coveting.